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.The Touch of Reality, by Jeannie Sullivan.In Best LesbianErotica 2000, edited by Tristan Taormino (Cleis Press,1999).Water Music, by Elspeth Potter.In Best Lesbian Erotica2001, edited by Tristan Taormino (Cleis Press, 2000). XII " THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO CUNNILINGUSHeterosexual/Mixed OrientationAnd Early to Rise, by Hanne Blank.In Best AmericanErotica 2001, edited by Susie Bright (TouchstoneBooks, 2001).Cast of Three, by Emilie Paris.In Sweet Life: EroticFantasies for Couples, edited by Violet Blue (CleisPress, 2001).Fish Curry Rice, by Ginn Kamani.In Best AmericanErotica 2000, edited by Susie Bright (TouchstoneBooks, 2000).Pure Porn, by Dion Farquhar.In The Mammoth Book ofErotica, edited by Maxim jakubowski (Carroll &Graf, 2000).Snooping, by Laurel Fisher.In Herotica 6, edited byMarcy Sheiner (Down There Press, 1999).Sex GuidesSex guides are a horse of a different stripe.Lots of themcome out every year, and while some look fine at thestarting gate, many are fatally handicapped.On the neg-ative side, they can be judgmental about preferences,fetishes, and orientations, or they can be ill-informedand contain inaccurate sex information.Good guidesinform and don't sacrifice integrity for entertainment.Ialso don't like sex guides that don't have any substanceand seem like picture books combined with New Agepoetry.What's worse are guides whose tone towardwomen puts you off be they written by men or womenwho must elevate or denigrate female sexuality to makeit palatable, or use instant-gratification sports terms.Putthe tired old sexist attitudes out to pasture, please.When buying a sex guide, take a good look at it first.Do you like the tone, or is it too dry or condescending? INDEPENDENT STUDY: EROTIC BOOKS AND VIDEOS " 153See when it was published and if it's been revisedrecently (within the past five years) to reflect currentinformation.Try to look something up: Is the informa-tion easy to find? Does it have substance that you canuse in a practical situation? Look up something non-mainstream such as S/M to see if the book has a judg-mental attitude toward it even if the practice isn't foryou, the author's sex-negative attitudes may hinder yourexploration of other areas you might be interested in.And finally, does it have illustrations or pictures? You'llneed them, so make sure they're there.Most overall sex guides have very tiny, sadly super-ficial treatments of cunnilingus you get the feeling thatthey just didn't know what to say.But it is possible tofind some great sex books to extend your sexual scopethat will tie into your cunnilingual expertise and roundout your sex life.Complete information on the followingbooks can be found in chapter 12, "References."As general sex guides go, The New Good VibrationsGuide to Sex by Cathy Winks and Anne Semans (CleisPress, 1997) is a good cornerstone of any library; it's themost modern standard around for sex information witha pleasure-centric approach, lots of sex practices thatmany people actually engage in but other guides won'tinclude, and lots of sex toy info.The Guide to Getting itOn! by Paul Joannides (Goofy Foot Press, 2000) is hete-rocentric and the tone is unbearably casual at times, butit's gigantic (over six hundred pages), has accurate infor-mation, and has sections not found in other tomes, suchas a disabilities chapter.Every person who has sex withwomen should read The Whole Lesbian Sex Book byFelice Newman (Cleis Press, 1999).Although it's for les-bians, it is the most complete resource around on hav-ing sex with women, and it has a fantastic tone. 154 " THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO CUNNILINGUSThere are many books on specific topics that relateto subjects covered in this book; they'll help you digdeep into what interests you.By far the best book outthere on S/M and how to do it is Patrick Califia'sSensuous Magic (Cleis Press, 2001) Califia mixes practi-cal advice with scorchingly hot short stories to make abook that inspires and energizes on every level.ComeHither by Gloria Brame (Fireside, 2000) is a wonderfulbook about becoming interested in S/M and has unbeat-able information on talking to your partner about it, orcoping with your partner's wishes when they don'tmatch up with yours.Jack Morin's The Erotic Mind(Harperperennial Library, 1996) is older than most ofthe books I'm recommending, but it's very good; itexplores the mind-set of having healthy, happy sex anddigs deep into sex within long-term relationships.Women who got fired up about sex while readingthis book have many books to choose from to stoke theflames.Betty Dodson, the mother of self-love, is a sextherapist who helps women learn to have orgasms, orhave better or different ones than they're already hav-ing.Her book Sex for One is a wonderful exploration ofmasturbation and orgasm, perfect for further masturba-tory study.For getting deep into women's orgasm andsexuality, and finding great advice about achievingorgasm when you have not been able to, check out thebeautiful and practical When the Earth Moves by MikayaHeart (Celestial Arts, 1998).Women who strive tobecome more sexually adventurous will want to readCarol Queen's Exhibitionism for the Shy (Down TherePress, 1995), which gave me the courage and motiva-tion to learn how to talk dirty in bed you can learnexactly that in her book.The Survivor's Guide to Sex byStaci Haines (Cleis Press, 1999) is the first and only prac- INDEPENDENT STUDY: EROTIC BOOKS AND VIDEOS " 155tical book for people who have survived trauma and/orabuse and want to have a fully present, satisfying andhealthy sex life it's indispensable.You can learn moreabout anal sex for women in the landmark book TheUltimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women by TristanTaormino (Cleis Press, 1997)
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